i love being me

Im back

2012-01-13T12:14:00.004+08:00

i just hate to be someone who is so down hearted and people look down on me due to my sincerety. i love my family, yes i do, and i've been wondering what am i supposed to do so that i we can get back together as one. too many people sacrificed for us and yet we are not more than appreciating. i really can say much now. i cant help anyone when i cant even hep myself. i dont wish to be in this state but the surrounding made me down. too much things to think off when im alone. i feel like theres no one that i cn turn to at times when im down. im not a loner but i can always be.

the best is i cn just pray hard on whats gonna happen the next day each time i go to sleep. i noe i might be stupid in acting and thinking this way. but i just cant change. i love me for who i am and i hope people cn understand that to be someone much better than who the person is just too difficult. even if there is much improvement in a short time, probably the person is faking and cheating on his/herself. im trying my best to be myself so that i cn learn from my mistakes and that should be the way.

getting involve in relationships make me realise that i can be a good girlfriend but not a good wife. I noe this sounds weird but i just hate to play around in relationships. even if i do. i make sure i dont contact that guy forever. admitting my own mistakes and t give in is what make a relationship last long. The word is : TRUST. if u dont have trust then negative things can lead ur relationship go haywire for ur loved ones.

Afterall, if my family can accept me for a who i am, treasure me for good. I dont think no guy cant do the same thing. so, love my family first before u love me. afterall, i wont change for a guy who has no assurance to be my husband. thank u.

hopefully things change as i believe in miracle. i love all of u who care for me. i just dont noe to whom i should turn to. sorry bt tis is wat im feeling rite now.

sincerely,
me

2011-01-08T17:43:00.002+08:00

Wow... its been so long that i last blog... i dont know wether u readers got miss me or not... hahaha... well... i dont know where to start off... all this while... when i stopped blogging i've been bz with this guy... n we were once... in a relationship... n now we are not... haiz... its a very sad n long story la... complicated n hard for me... i dont know wether he know how im feeling rite now but the pain is killing me...!!

Its a very though decision for me to make but i have to forget him tis once and forever... there's too many things dat i've been through with him... its a wonderful... happy... sad... tragic... n hardly an exeprience to me... Its difficult for me to let him go... but if its easy for him... i think y cant i...? i cant be always like tis... yaeh i noe its like my first love... but i have to move on n not stuck myself in this situation which will always make me sad n end up crying...

I was asked from him... to change myself... to upgrade myself n dont let myself down on others... n very sure i will... and i'll let him see that... sooon... n if he's reading this... all i can say is that we can... but its the matter of we want to move on or not... i really hope he's happy with his new life rite now...

To my frens... wish me all the best n hopefully we can get together quite often coz i miss all my frens dat have been part of me... hope i can learn new things n have new experience with the love n support from all my family n frens... love u all...

Always...
Ayu Imoots

2010-03-18T18:47:00.004+08:00

IM MISSING ALL OF YOU GUYS...!!

Sharifah Arina

Fika and NadiaTeam Dark Knight...(i took this picture..)
especially the one in green...(..sobs...)Ajai..he's not in that pic but he's a part of them...

Hey all.. Im finally back... hahas.. time flies sooo fast... and its true man... im really missing all of u guys... this 27 March really hope i get to meet u guys again... da lame sey tk kua ngan korg... btw... sorry uh aku tk update korg... i changed my num and i pass it to Effa... N.. Just a piece of info.. aku da keje... tu pun korg leh tanye Effa... N lastly... Announcing>>> Ayu Imoots is Finally attached... hahaks... finally sey... nk tau sape...?? soon... u all will noe... ouhkaes... gtg ready... tc... hope to c u guys soon...

Love,

Ayu Imoots

2009-11-07T18:52:00.002+08:00

Today actually i am supposed to follow my family to an outing to JE swimming complex.. But I dun wan toooo... I prefer spending my time whole day at GameHaven today.. Hahahaha..

Yup... Im at my soo called 'old' werkplace... Got my pay from Cik Adeq.. And play comp... It was at coming to 4 when i reached here... Accompany Kak Seri until her duty finishes... And I guess after this Im gonna meet Abg Kidd.. Kak Seri's new bf.. *curious*

It was great though... Knowing that I am leaving GameHaven... But I guess Im gonna miss this place... All the gamers.. All the noisy background.. All the staff (esp my auntie)... All the private roomss.. And of coz... My handsome good looking Boss... Nvr found any other boss like u before... Mr Eugene...!!

Well.. all the best for business.. I'll visit u guys anytime when Im freee...:)

Oh ya.. While Im at facebook... I took some quizzez... It was fun knowing more about myself.. And actually idk why I took this "Found out the Friend To Call" and the result was : Shaifful Parker!! and I commented, "Stop it lah ehk... tkkn dpt nyer...!!!"

Hahaha.. It was funny though knowing that Social Interview asked Mohd Yan.. "Does Ayu Imoots like hugs?" and he answered... " No..she likes me!" Hahaha... Old story sia.. Secondary school moments... Siak je ko Yan... Ko uat aku ketawe2 sendiri sia..

Oklah... That's all for today... Hope all of you enjoy ur weekends...!!

(I'll update the pictures on the Phase Test day soooon)

2009-10-29T16:17:00.006+08:00

Sadness beyond my fake smile

I don't know whats' next that's gonna happen. The way im going is getting worser. I have problems all around me. At school, at home... Haiz...!! People hate n reject me everywhere. Luckily.. I have Effa, Nadia and Fika.. Although all the cabot class.. All the lepak is not a good thing.. But at least... I can release stress.

Yesterday... I was in a peace of mind when i heard tht they are not coming for LPDX lesson.. So I tot I should come end 10.. On my way to train.. I text Nadia and she say she will not b coming to school... My mind was like.. Ok..! Wats happening..? Thereafter, I text effa.. presuming that she also will b coming at 10.. I was a little upset when she says that.. SHE'S ALREADY IN SCHOOL..! So.. I went to school to noe wats happening..

I came when LPDX was nearly to end.. When Fika and Effa saw me.. They say that they are not attending the class at 10 and they are going to Bedok.. Nk melawat.. I was like... Huh..? Nadia is to blame.. Coz Fika asked her to contact me but she did not.. Haha.. Tkpelah korg.. Aku lagi suke tk g skola..!!

We went to ITE BB to fetch Aaaahmad..! Lame sia tunggu dier... Fika tros PENG! When Ahmad came with B'jul.. Fika buat muke.. Die tknk lyn siols.. Tp end up da ok.. Biaselah... Kate Aaaahmad...! Hahahaha... Korg klaka uh... Tkleh bertembung...! Kekek..!

After that we took a train to Bedok... But I drop at Outram.. time to go for work oreadi...!

All and all I tot today was the most kesiao day... I enjoy it when I see Fika and Aaaahmad (Thts how Fika say his name) irritate each other.. Hahahaha...Thanks... U gerls really cheer me up... Although I can't follow u gerls to Bedok.. At least I forget abt all my problems for that moment..!

I LOVE EFFA, FIKA, AND NADIA!!

2009-10-24T13:56:00.004+08:00

After Cosmetic Course

At Class nothing to do... LazyBug!

This is in the Changing Room

Effa.. The Best Photographer

Fika abeh..!! Hahaha..

During my autie's wedding.. We're at the playground..

Zila...Ayu...Su

One thorn among the roses

I have nothing to post but its great going to pennisula with my siblings yesterday. Though, I made a serious mistake which can affect my life in future.

2009-09-25T20:05:00.004+08:00

The one in Red is my younger sister. I only took a pic with her since everyone is having fun.

This year's Hari Raya is quite fun for me lah.. I made everyone shocked.! Ku diberi nama Ayu Bantot. Haha. Thanks to my younger sister tht i look younger. Haahahaha. Sarcastic sia.

I've been enjoying myself too much on tht day tht i didnt remember tht i hv to join my father at woodlands. I end up sesat at woodland coz i had the block number mixed up.. OMG.! I walked all the way to the correct place n lucky that my father has not reached yet. If not he'll laugh at me. When I was at the lift. I saw Uncle Jo and his family at the basement. I was soo shocked when i see Kak Siti. She wore the same kebaya suit as me. OMG again.! Tulah.. Beli lagi kt Geylang.

My father reached one hour after i settled at my aunty's house. Thats when he told us that he took the wrong bus. Looks like he's got the bus number mixed up. Hahaha. Anak ngn bapak same je. Hehehe. I end up laughing at him..

That day I spent most of my time with my Long Lost Sister. I missed her too much. Cant stop laughing on hearing all her jokes. And of course, she is soo into it when comes to talking abt guys. I really miss those times.

Exam that time rabak ah... I did not even study and I absent most of the time. Idk why. Like lazy to go to school oreadi. The laziness in me is realli burning me man.!

Last but nt least, I would like to take this opportunity to ask for fogiveness to all the people tht noe me. Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin kepada Semua yg mengenali diriku ini tak kira dimana jua anda berada. Kalau ada salah silap atau terkasar bahasa. Harap dimaafkan.

Toodles.!

2009-08-28T12:54:00.002+08:00

Hey all.. This week im only off on Monday...24 August... So all of the days i spent my time at work.. I've been laughing all the way at work cause these few days.. a lot of new staff joined my workplace n I have a lot to teach.. Ussually my restaurant does not allow us to have our breakfast there coz the timing is when a lot of customer is coming.. Therefore, when breakfast.. I only drank a cup of water and wait for my shift to finish and then i can eat.. haha..

Fortunately.. I get to eat my breakfast yesterday due to my sweet2 persuation to my manager.. I am sooo luck yesterday.. Tkyah tahan lapar ehk.. Hmm.. I did not even punch out means my gaji for tht period of time tht im having my meal is counted.. WoOoOoHoOo...

Actually today i was thinking of not going to school but since yesterday i ponteng oreadi so i just come to waste my time.. But of coz.. I skipped another PE Lesson.. Haha.. Pemalas btol aku ni..

While im surfing the net.. I took some quizzes on facebook but i like the one question which is.. 'What celebrity do you look alike?' Im speechless.. I was sooo shocked when i get the results;

Hillary Duff.. My idol forever.. but idk wether i look like her.. Haha..

2009-08-25T13:14:00.008+08:00

Dude Harlino.. My Number One Hero..

Hey all... This few days im always waiting n waiting for time to pass by coz i can't wait to get my first pay... I have much to spent on actually.. Lagi2 Raye nk dekat.. Sume ku kena beli sendiri.. So far school is ok uh.. Not soo much stress ah.. All those friendly dramatism are yet to be forget. I dun want it to get worse n i dun wan to hurt anyone. That's the same as hurting myself.

I can't wait to raye man! Coz this year is considered i have lots of friends to visit to.. N wats good is tht I am sure to celebrate it with my late mother's side.. Cause last few days my siblings went for a family gathering n she was okay.. Unfortunately.. I was not able to attend coz im working full shift on tht day.. Poor grandma really missed me!!

So far these 4 days im have a full fast. I like to share something abt the text message which i received before Ramadhan. Hope u all like it.

Sempena Ramadhan yang akan menjelang tak lama lagi,

Sentiasalah:

Setting Niat,

Upgrade Iman,

Download Sabar,

Upload Usaha,

Delete Dosa,

Update Doa, dan,

Top-up Ilmu

agar boleh Redeem Pahala.

Selamat menyambut Ramadhan Al-Mubaraq!

Klah.. That's all for today.. To all the Islams.. Puasa jgn tk puasa ehk.. Hope Ramadhan this year is meaningful to all of u.. Kaes.. Tc

Something Is Not Right

2009-08-13T13:44:00.004+08:00

Something weird happedned today at school. Today,i returned the locker key to my friend and then she gave ne back something which i gave her months ago as form of friendship. When she did that, I simply just walk away.

I know these few days i communicate less with them and i can't tag along coz i often come late to school. But im not trying to show anything. I did not talk to them coz i simply have nothing to talk about. They often talk abt something tht i have nothing to say about. Worse still, they always plan to go out together and i was not asked for simply because they know i can't get out of my house and in damn pokai .

Thent tell me guys, if you think you are in my situation. Being such a transparent person in tht group, won't you just feel like walking away? I know its best to disscuss but in this situation. Disscussion won't bother them anymore. I always feel like im odd when im with them. I know im outdated. I know my life is boring. But if they are true friends, they'll accept and understand. I feel like Im abandoned!

I know lately Im busy with work. But that's not the point. I mix with friendly and outgoing people and they all like me. I did not even think twice to communicate with my colleages. They are so cheerful. Even my managers, they always think i can do much more better.

About the keys, Oh My... I really feel I need to duplicate it because i am often late to school. It's hard for them to follow up if im not there. That's why i gave the original key at my friend just now. OMG! Its just a damn key!

Ok stop this Friendly Dramatism. I now would like to share with you a song which reaveals my heart feeling to someone which i waited for soo long and now he's taken. Click at the link below to listen to the song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoAXuim0AM4

Kau pernah melukai aku
Ku sadar itu
Kau pernah meninggalkan aku
Dan ku sadar semua itu

[*]
Tak pernah ku sangka dirimu
Tak bisa cintai ku
Jika ku tetap mengharap dirimu
Mungkin itu maumu

[**]
Bodohnya diriku selalu menunggumu
Yang tak pernah untuk bisa mencintai aku
Oh Tuhan tolonglah beri aku cara
Untuk dapat melupakan dia dan cintanya

Back to [*][**]

Im Back!!

2009-07-22T14:01:00.015+08:00

Rhomedal Aquino... I like.

Hey folks it great to be back. Ok i have not much time actually.Minutes ago i was writting a composition and i deleted all by mistake. N now i have to off the comp. I'll update soon. Hope u all are fine.

Toodles!

Happy Birthday To Me

2009-05-29T12:42:00.004+08:00

And the song goes:

Happy Birthday to Me,
Happy Birthday to Me,
Happy Birthday to Ayu,
Happy Birthday to Me.

Hahahas...Peace to all my friends that my day fun today in school... Thanks for the Messages that you sent me Amirah...It was really a wake up call...Thanks to my auntie and my adeq too... Nurul Lafatin...I receive her message exactly at 12 am yesterday...Boleh exact plak tu...

"Hie...Ni atin...selamat semakin tua dan tak tinggi-tinggi..."

Kurang ajar punyer bdk...Aku taulah aku bantot!!Haha...At least aku tk waste time kt rumah jd maid ehk...Hahahaha...Jokin2...No lah...At least she remembered...

And my wishes are:

>To pass my ITE and go for Higher Nitec...

>To get a new handphone...(I hope so...)

>To get a new outfit for myself...

>To go for an informal outing on feast and movie..

>I wanna enjoy shopping with all my friends using my own money...

>To make all my family members happy...

Ok...Thats all I guess...I really thank those who rembered my birthday today...Wish me luck for my exams...Kaes...Gtg...Tc

2009-05-22T12:51:00.003+08:00

Im left with only one week to go for my revision..Next week is exam and from 4 July Onwards... Im having my one month vacation!!Weeee~Hope its not as boring as the three weeks holiday last March..but at that time I made wonderful teasement to my friends who are still schooling...Ya...they have their one week holiday b4 us but its great to noe tht we...ITE Student get more vacation weeks then them...

But Again...Im sruggling for my coming exams..There are only three subjects to study on this term but i think its 30 subjects...Soooo many things to learn lah seh...Some people think tht ITE is easy but it is not as easy when u lack too much... Im really not ready for all this..Thank god Im not debared...If not i will have to repeat and do it all over again..Wasting seh..

Im really looking forward for Husna to b free cause its like when Im free..She's not..When she's free...Im not...I think we csn make it on the June holidays but Im still in a curfew situation...Husna~Tolong aku!!

Till here I guess...gtg..Tc Readers...

2009-05-19T13:48:00.000+08:00

hey there guys...i've got nothing much to say but for me...this whole week is sooo boring cause i can't stand anything at home and at school...all is stresssing!!What's more??I really can't imagine tht my bdae is NEXT FRIDAY!!Like nobody remebered!!My exams are coming this June and I still have not started any revision!!I juz wanna get rid of all my schooling stuff and get out for work!!Life Sucks Without Money!!

When I heard that my friends are going out during weekends...I feel like killing them cause watever the reason is...I surely can't follow them to this informal outing!!These may be some reasons tht I could consider:

My Parents;

They consider tht Im still underage and I cant mix with guys...
They have no money to supply me for this outing which for them sound not so important...
They say they will bring me out but only with them and not friends!!(I really hate this!!)

2. My Pocket;

Obviously... Im all time pokai...
Even though I save..It's always not enough...
Im ashamed if I have to tell my friends ask wether I want them to treat me..I don't like people to kesian me u know...

3. The period of time;

Most of the time, I need to stay home and do spring cleaning every weekend!!
When it is planned last minute..my parents hate it and sure disallow me!!
They(my parents) will give me unlimited time for me to go home!!I can't be out till it's really late!!Like curfew!!

All in all..I think my parents have the most reason tht I should consider before letting me out!!I hate to be like this...Y they can't understand a teenager's life??I don't deserve all this is it??

I really think I need to search for part-time job for all this!!So tht I won't get stress out with all this!! Or worse still maybe I should quit school and get a full time job!!IDK!!Guys..help me please!!Im sooo in a Donnoe Wat To Do situation!

Well..Im done with all this...Guess I hv nothing to tell u guys abt my schooling time!!Hmm..Too stress la...Kaes....Till then...Gtg...Tc...

2009-05-15T11:42:00.000+08:00

It's Friday today and Im starting at 10 am for school today...I can say that today i sway!Firstly...This morning..I ate those breads which that auntie gave me and she told me...

*heard the bell go ding dong*

*I open the door*

Auntie:Ni klau ada 14... (what she meant was the date)lu jgn mkn uh..Lu buang!

Me:*With a sleepy tone*Ah..Ok..

Auntie:Ok bye2..

Me:Ok Thank You Auntie!

With full sense of happiness... I brought that big plastic bag that auntie gave me...My mother was excited too..Mane tk...Roti..Bun...Cream Roll pun ader...Excited lah jadinye...For a sec I for got what tht auntie said to me...Cause the food she gave me all looks great!!When i tried the hotdog bun...It smells weird actually...My mom also said so...and worse still..I thought it is 14 today but actually its 15...My mother asked abt today's date...Then finally we throw all those hotdog bun! Bodo sak aku...My mom had stomachache after that!

Thereafter.. I top-up my ez-link card at Bishan and i forgot to take the change and receipt!I only remembered about iy when I want to buy food at the canteen..Sway sia!!I informed my mom and she was very upset!She told me to go back there...But whats the point if i don't have any receipt? No proff seh...

I decided to call the Transitlink Hotline and they asked me to Call the Bishan Passenger Service...I called the passenger service and finally they called back and asked me what time I want to go back there and claim that $5..Tht really make me feel like...Phew!

It can be say that today could be my unlucky day but this is only halfday and i donnoe wats next after school!!

2009-05-14T14:56:00.000+08:00

Hey guys..I really dont have the mindset that doing blogging the settings are sooo leceh... I love 13 May...They were many things happening in ITE Bishan...Yesterday was NAPFA Test for my class and 5 other classes.. Haha...I failed my Shuttle Run and Standing Broad Jump.. Like whatever!!And of course...my 2.4 km run...Huh!!Let me tell u guys...

For the first time in History of 11 years of my schooling...All along the track of my 2.4...I WALKED ALL THE WAY!!HAHAHAHHAHA...Like dunno like that...Im sooo pemalas... And furthermore...Lydia and Amirah cock out...Lydia kaki cramp...Yg Amirah saket perot..Ape lah..But at least i can feel th difference ah... Its no point running when u noe that ure gonna fail??My position is 92...like i care!!

Lydia kesian sak..Nk donate darah tk jadik...Low blood pressure lah seh...

K...Till here readers...GTG...TC...

2009-05-11T16:03:00.000+08:00

Me and my friends after getting ourselves bloated at Seoul Garden.

Today is a very boring cause i was left out by my friends..Amira and Lydia...They are enjoying their vesak day of course..HaHa..So Bad!!Tkpe2 aku ingat!!Haha..Lydia lg..Ajar anak die yg bukan2...Ada ke die suruh aku balek??Nasib beak aku tk dgr ckp die...Haiz..Lydia2..Today was very slack cause Its actually the first time I concentrated on that lesson...OFC!After that Ms Kok scolded me,teja and nazurah for coming late to class...Kite g mkn je pe...Da bagus tu kite tk cabot lesson mepek die...Da lah gtuk...Thumbdrive aku pun die amek!!Tk kasi alek...Aku curse ah!!

After tht we went for LPDX and it was boring plus fun cause we had nothing to do but watch a Japanese animation movie..Tittled:Princess Mononoke...But the movie was quite fun actuallly...The storyline was good..I see those who ussually sleep while watching Whale Rider last two weeks...woke up and make up with the story...We ended earlier as requested by most of our classmates...Mayb they cannot tahan waith the coldness of the room..It was seriously cold sia.. There are some part of where we're in the room when i started laughing...

Firstly..When Tejah actually did not realise that Taqim took her bag..She only realise it when Meen asked her for a jacket!!I and Nazurah was laughing and laughing at her..Haha...
Secondly..While watching the movie..Suddenly Meen alert us that the sofa we're sittig on was nearly to fall...OMG!We woke up and saw tht it was unstable..Berat sangat ke aku ni??

Taqim:Korang tu berat sangat sebab tu bende tu senget!!

Tejah and me:LOL!

On Saturdays and Sundays..I spent my time at home Spring Cleaning..Wash clothes..Wash dishes,sweep and those normal stuff...Penat seh!!Like tht also kena scold cause my work all only halfly done..Not satisfying la katekn...

On Friday..8 May 2009...

With wonderful persuassion from Amirah and Nazurah..I decided to go Seoul Garden for the Class Outing..Actually I don't want to go there cause I am unsure on what to wear and due to time constrain..I don't think I can make it on time to b there..Nk mandi..Make up..Choose baju lagi...Mane nk kejar time...But as I think about it..Mayb this is the only time tht i get to go with my Friends..To Orchard some more!!We..Nazurah..Tejah..Amirah and Lydia were all late as we decided to change at home and when we reached there..We were not scolded but we were asked to eat settle down and eat!!So GooOoOoD!!

I ate Spaghetti with Mushroom Soup...4 Scoops of Ice Cream(Each scoop of a different flavour)French fries..Hotdog and some Minced Meat to make me Full!!Awwww~~I must admit tht It was a great satisfaction after having all tht..Not only It was great..But It was free!!!We girls juz cant stop taking pictures all the time..Before..During...and Even After we Eat!!Haha!!

Amirah:Kau dekat sini ko makan je..Jgn takot2..

bila lagi ko nk dpt makan cam gini..

Me:*Smile*

Amirah:Gemokkan sikit perot tu!!
Amirah and Me:LOL!!

Spaghetti Sauce and Mushroom Sauce

Wide range of Choices...I did not try them actually!!

This was what we cook!Amirah and Lydia was the Chefs!!Good Job!!

The Desserts!!YumYum!!

The Ice Creams...Only 3 scoops??This It's Nazurah's I guess...

Nazurah..Hidayu...Tejah

Candid??No..They MADE this!!

They are so into the food!!

My besties...U guys are gonna get it from me Tommorrow!!

Saper suruh tk dtg skola??Haha!!

Tejah,Lydia.Nazurah,Amirah(Face of Picture...Haha..Kesian) and me!

Outside Takashimaya Orcard...After the wonderfull feast at Seoul Garden!!

After Seoul Garden..They went to Marina Barage...I can't follow them becoz of my stupid curfew!!They had fun..They told me..Asl la mak bpk aku ni tk understanding mcm mak bpk dorg ehk?? Irritating tau!!But though...I was ok abt it!!Da slalu pe cam gini..bknnye tk biase..

Oh...and one more thing...this blog was successfully and finnally nicely skinned by my dearest friend..Siti Nurhusna Binti Sahrom..She gave me a satisfying feeling to post something in my blog and add up some pictures...Thanks ehk Hus..Syg kau...Want to know who this lovely gerl is??Go to My Best of the best bestie's blog...Till here I guess!!Have a nice day readers!!

2009-05-05T15:33:00.000+08:00

Today is Tuesday,I name it as the most boring day.Well,I am always going through this...IOP is very lack today cause the lessons are short and like usual..SBM..the last lesson...We go library to do project..Hahas..Padahal tk buat pun..We..Amira,Nazurah and Teja.. We just lepak there...

Since this is my first post..I hope u guys can comment on my profile and blogskin...